I am reading a book about religion. I have had this book for more than five years, and I am less than half-way through with it. That is a profound indication of how difficult this book is for me. I can read five books or more in a single day, easily. I am the speed-reading paragon of reading books. Except for this one.
This one is about giving up on being offended. OUCH. Twinged my toes just typing it.
Being offended comes, according to this author, from a few sources: feeling that someone owes you something you are not getting, knowing you owe someone something you are not giving, and finally, feeling that God (who is the One who ultimately controls everything) owes you something you are not getting. Most of it, therefore, is the fact that I am not getting something I think I deserve, or that I want, whether I think I deserve it or not. The rest is knowing that I owe something to someone that I am not willing to give to them – mostly forgiveness for something they did to me, but occasionally it is an abject apology, or restitution, for something I did I am not particularly proud about having done to them.
I have discovered, reading this book, that I have a world view of an ordered, logical existence. Regardless of the inescapable fact that this world in which we live is not that sort of world, I WANT it to be that sort of world, and I am offended when people in positions of leadership are idiots. Particularly when they are in positions of leadership over ME.
I want a calm life, and I am not getting it, dammit. *sigh*
Back to the book……….
One of the things it says is that God has you in the position where you are, to help you learn the lessons He wants you to learn, so you are not supposed to bail when things get tough, you are supposed to buckle down and learn your lessons. If you flee, you will just have to learn your lessons in another place and time. God is very patient, unfortunately. And here I was, filling out job applications for another school in another country, looking forward to being able to bail on this current position (and country, for that matter).