7 Shoot ’em Up Movies

I hate “action” films. Too many people get killed. Why would I want to watch that for entertainment? If I am wanting to be entertained, I want something light and amusing – a romantic  comedy, or just a comedy, would be fine. Why do I want to watch blood and guts flying all over? I am not totally against somebody dying in the movie, mind you, but violence for the sake of violence is just not on.

For this same reason, I generally dislike teen-age slasher and horror films of that sort. They are almost comedies, though, really, they are so predictable. NO, don’t go outside the house into the fog in your nightgown, little sexy teenaged, blonde girl!! You ain’t gonna make it! NO, don’t check out that noise in the basement! NO, don’t double-check to be sure they are really dead! Don’t answer the phone, either! So predictable. I do understand how the Scary Movie series got going – they make fun of the utterly predictable plot lines of the “real” scary movies. The funniest horror movies I have ever seen were the Exorcist with Linda Blair and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It is hard to laugh in a movie theater filled with other people who are squealing with fright and freaking out. I had to smother my snickers behind my hands.

Actually, I go to the movie theater for the buttered popcorn – such a sinful indulgence. That stuff must have a million calories, and it is loaded with salt into the bargain. SOOOO good. And their candy is outrageously priced, but at least it does come in the large-sized box.  Sorry for getting distracted by movie junk food. I could use a giant-sized box of that buttered popcorn right about NOW.

I think all action films should end with the bad guys getting killed in the most awful way possible, like in the OLD days when the good guys always won. I HATE a movie where the bad guys get away with it. Makes me feel cheated, somehow. I want the bad dudes to get what they deserve, not retire and live out their lives in luxury on some island where there is no extradition. With comedies, that is seldom a problem, or else the bad guys are so lovable, you don’t really mind if they get away with whatever silly crime they committed!

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