27: Disgusting Abdominal Noises

Why is it OK for guys to fart and not OK for girls?

Everybody eats to live, and the process of digestion, especially if one consumes a high fiber diet (which by the way is recommended for good health), produces gas. For some social and cultural reason that surely is written down somewhere, it is socially acceptable for guys to pass gas just about anywhere and anytime without anyone freaking out, other than perhaps a giggle or two.

But let a girl pass gas, and everyone is horrified, a serious social faux pas has just occurred. Why is this? It is not as if girl gas smells worse than guy gas, in fact the opposite is usually true. Guys can make you gag. Seriously. And it is not as if girl gas is louder and more noticable than guy gas, again, the opposite is usually true. Guys can sound like a bass bassoon blowing it out. Girls usually have polite little squeaky gas, which is much quiter and less noticable: except that it isn’t. EVERYBODY notices when a girl passes gas. Even if they pretend not to.

This would make a good topic for a doctoral research paper – WHY is it that disgusting abdominal noises are OK for guys and not for girls? Is it that whole “sugar and spice and everything nice”  thing? Guys were “snails and puppy dog tails” as I recall that nursery rhyme, and it was OK for them to get really, really dirty too. It just isn’t fair!

Everybody gets gas. Everybody should be able to pass it, because there certainly is more room on the outside than there is on the inside. And gas HURTS when you don’t let it go. Why suffer? I suggest getting really, really close to someone you don’t care much for, and then letting go. Should be entertaining, and a huge relief, all at the same time. Girls unite! Pass that gas!


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