I’m dying here. There are far too many hours left in this workday. Help, please.
I need a new life goal. The one I have been working towards is just not doing it for me anymore. I need to reassess. So, what is stopping me from doing just exactly that, for the love of Pete? Absolutely nuthin’ ‘cept my own self.
So, let’s think this thing through – oh, look! Something shiny!! Need some Ritalin – small break, back in a few minutes to re-re-assess.
Now that I can probably actually focus, let’s think. Hmmmmm. I can set my sights on a better-paying job in another country. Perhaps even back in the USA. I don’t really want to do that, returning to the USA, since I sold everything I owned to depart from there, but I could possibly consider returning to the USA like I would consider any other international teaching appointment: temporary. I could do two years in the USA like I could consider two years in, say, Malaysia or China, for instance. It could happen. One goal I definitely, certainly have is to pay off all remaining debt, so that I can use whatever income I earn for myself, instead of for paying off bills from others. Getting a better-paying job would be a move in the right direction, yes? Or, I could relax here for a few more years, considering this is the simplest job I have had in living memory. A higher-paying job would entail more work, usually, right? OK – put that one on hold until we gather some more information upon which to base a logical and competent decision – yep, Ritalin is kicking in.
Next phase: family. I need, really, really need, to launch my children. I am LIVING that silly movie called “Failure to Launch.” My daughter graduated from high school a full year early. That should mean she is graduating from college a year early, too, right? NO. Graduating on time? NO. Graduating a year late? NOT. Graduating when, then? That is MY question. And my son, who also graduated from high school a full year early, should be well into his junior year by now, right? NO. Sophomore year? NO. Freshman year, no, surely not? What happened? Again, that is MY question. BOTH of these adult children have obtained inheritances from their father’s relatives, and swifty and efficiently have run through the entire balance of their accounts, against their mother’s (yes, that would be me) sagest advice, counsel and warnings. PLUS their 10K college savings accounts. Now, they are sponging off me and their grandmother. As long as patience lasts. There IS an end to patience in sight.
So, having put a deadline on my kids, and having at least considered finding another job that pays more, perhaps I can begin to focus on ME. What do *I* want? Hmmmmm. The first thing that popped in to my head is this gem: I want to retire and stop working. Yeah, like THAT’S gonna happen. You know any sympathetic money gods who might want to rain on me, so I can stop working for a living?? I did not think so. Me, either. I think that one will have to wait until there are funds in plac to support it. Rats. I am looking at at LEAST ten more years of this daily grind stuff. So, barring my primary desire, what else (that might actually HAPPEN) do I want? A winning lottery ticket? I think I can get in line for that one, too.
How about a nice hot cup of cocoa, and a good book for this afternoon, and let’s just let these things percolate, since I cannot solve any of them right away, anyhoo? Work for YOU?