I have a problem. I need to sort out my priorities, and I need to do this fairly quickly. I have a job here at my present school for the next two years. I know this because I just signed a two-year contract. My husband really likes this country, and we have made plans to retire here, start a retirement business, and live out what remains of our lives here. Hokey Dokey.
Just one problem I have discovered. I keep looking at job announcements for other places in the world – and I apply for them. This indicates a rather significant division between what I think I want to do , and what I apparently want to do. I want to go somewhere else. NOT sure why, but if I was completely content here, surely I would not be combing the lists for another job is a place far, far away from here. Would I? Of course not – I would be making better use of my time than searching for another job in another place. Period.
So WTF is going on? Apparently I am not as content here as I thought I was. Now, assuredly, the administration of the school where I am (the University administration, not the local school administration) is pretty crappy, but hey – I have never yet had a perfect job, ANYWHERE. So, they are tolerable (barely) and the job is not bad at all. Small class sizes, decent kids, for the most part (kids are kids, and are the same nearly everywhere). There are several smaller issues, but that is just life, darn it , and not a reason to do or not to do something as important as leaving, and relocating to another part of the world.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I just have to figure this out. What do I really want to do?? And WHY do I really want to do it? Is there some significant issue that I am not seeing, or not admitting to myself? What’s up??