434: Care and Concern

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How dare you, parent, caregiver or teacher, claim to have care and concern for a child that you refuse to discipline? If you CARE about them, you discipline them so they can learn self-control, honor, and self-worth that is based on something besides empty promises.

EVERY human being wants things their own way. EVERY STINKING ONE. What makes the difference between growing bigger and actually growing up to be a mature adult, as opposed to the immature sort we see far too many of in this modern life since Dr. Spock became the child-rearing guru he proved himself NOT to be, is the difference between self-control and demanding to get my own way about everything. OF COURSE I want my own way. So does everybody else.

Not getting it, and learning to live with that, is being a grownup. If you care about a child, you have concern for them as a human being, you discipline them – and that includes disciplining your own selfish, greedy self, too. Not only is it bad news to tell a child yes too often, it is also bad news to tell yourself yes too often.

Suck it up. The truth is sometimes not pretty – but that does not make it any less the truth, just because you don’t like hearing it.

433: Add New Post


Life is a lot like blogging, as long as you are a reflective thinker. Things happen, you think about them, and you write about them on your blog, explaining them to yourself, sometimes. Most times. I do it like that, anyway, even if you don’t.

I include events, thoughts, actions, observations, jokes, ideas, occasions, hurts, insults, praises, and other routine and not-so-routine things that happen. They are laid bare for the world (OK, maybe not the WORLD) to see here, and to comment upon, should someone feel so moved. I think about things, and I process them here.

Sometimes, these ruminations upon the cosmos clarify what I think about the events in question, and sometimes the thought process just muddies the waters. Regardless, I feel as though I have made some progress in my own understanding of the world in general, and of me in specific, through utilization of this method. It is reason enough to continue, no?

432: Rape and Fantasy

Rape is an ugly reality –

not a titillating fantasy.

What you want when you fantasize about rape

is nothing like what actually happens.

Your fantasy man is always handsome and attractive

(made to your order and specifications)

and he might be a little rough in your imagination, BUT

he does not, could not, never would, CAN’T hurt you.

He simply does not accept your insincere and tentative “no,”

overwhelms you with his gorgeous, sexy self (so YOU

don’t have to actually take responsibility for the delicious sex),

and you get what you really wanted from him in the first place,

without any of the bad-girl guilt of enjoying yourself

as an adult in control of your life and choices.

That is the fantasy.

That is not anything like the reality.

If you are ever in a real rape,

your NO will be neither insincere or tentative

and unless you are very, very lucky indeed –

it won’t be heeded.

Partly, it won’t be heeded

because of the knowledge of the fantasy

and that you are (could be, might be) one of those

who really wants it anyway.


431: Picky, Picky, Picky

You anal-retentive, OCD, perfectionist, detail-oriented, picky SOB.

You dumped this job on ME.

You did not want to do it.

Now that it is done, according to your specifications,

you have determined that it is not up to your standards.

Instead of doing it yourself the way you have determined you would rather it had been done,

you have provided me with a new list

or improved and further-detailed specifications.

To redo.




You sign the paychecks.

Eight hours a day,

My time is yours.

My THOUGHTS about it, however,

are MINE.

430: Nope


Don’t tell me you care for me

when I can so clearly see that you don’t.

Don’t tell me I am important to you

when you make it so clear that I am not.

Make it clear to me

that what you DO matches what you SAY.

When that is clear, then

maybe, I can see my way clear

to thinking again about forever.

Until then, I am thinking about tomorrow

and what is clear to me now.


It is all in your hands.

429: Liberals and Lunch

Liberals have an agenda. They earnestly believe that they know best, and seek to impose that higher, nobler ideology on all of us lesser beings using every trick in the book: the courts, the culture, groundless, open attacks, their lapdog media sycophants, etc. What makes them dangerous, instead of just laughable (which they also are) is the big liberal dollars backing them up and their own earnest, sincere belief that they do know better than I do how to live my own life, and what I should be doing, saying, and thinking, as opposed to what I am doing, saying, and thinking.

Our revered leader (tarnished somewhat, but nevertheless inviolate enough that there is STILL no move on to impeach his useless ass) has a wife. This woman (according to most media resources, although some present a convincing case on Michelle/Michael being a trannie) has decided that America is obese, and she has used her husband’s executive orders to force schools to adopt an extremely restrictive school lunch program designed to get every public school child in America to lose a few. By law. Because, of course, she knows best.

Let’s just politely ignore the fact that Michelle “wide load,” all-about-dat-bass Obama is packing a rump that would make Sir Mix-A-Lot’s anaconda stand to attention, and agree that some American children are obese, but that under no circumstances whatsoever are all of them. And all of them get to suffer under Michelle’s new rules, not just those who could use an extra period of Phys. Ed.

Plus, in many parts of America – and more and more parts under her husband’s administration – the food a child gets at public school, government-subsidized lunch (now that the number of Welfare and food stamp families has skyrocketed) is sometimes pretty much all they get all day. What we see actual photos of what passes for a school lunch under Michelle’s reign leaves one to wonder if she is using the savings on purchasing food for schoolchildren to finance her family’s numerous personal vacations. Hey, the money has to come from SOMEwhere, and it is perfectly obvious they ain’t buying food with it for America’s kids.



427: Watermelons, Panamanian Style

I am from Georgia in the USA. We are an agricultural, rural state, if you can ignore those few square miles around Atlanta. Cordele, Georgia claims to be the watermelon capital of the world – and well do I recall getting forty-pound-plus melons for fifty cents.  Georgia claims some whopper, prize-winning hugemongous melons.

Here in Panama, things are a little different. In the first place, it is summer year-round, so watermelons grow here all the time. Secondly, most Panamanian are not wealthy. They do not have an American-sized refrigerator, necessary if your family buys a Georgia-grown watermelon at any time other than a birthday, a BBQ, a family reunion or a church social. At those functions, you’ll need several melons, and there won’t be any left over. Bring the salt.

Here in Panama, though, a family fridge is not a whole lot bigger than a college dorm model, and a Georgia melon is not going in there, unless that is ALL that is going in there. So, Panama adjusted. Not the fridge, the melon.

E-tee-niney watermelon slices, Panama style!

E-tee-niney watermelon slices, Panama style!

This is the size of the melons I usually see offered for sale here in Panama. It fits in the fridge, assuming there is actually any of it left over. When I get a Georgia craving for watermelon, it takes two of these tiny babies to do me.  By myself.  Heck, we would probably not even bother to pick those watermelons, and would leave those in the field! Still, they do taste good, even if they are small enough to hold one in one hand……..

426: Never Give a Sucker a Break


Why is it so difficult to accomplish something in a single day?

I am the Educational Technology Coordinator at my little school. As part of my job, I subscribe to educational software on Websites for our teachers to use as resources in their teaching with their students. This is all online, should be a piece of cake, right? Yeah, right.

When *you* buy a subscription to something online, maybe. When *I* do it on behalf of the school I work for, OH, HECK NO.

First, this school is incredibly unorganized. That means all the subscriptions they have bought over the six years they have been a school were bought willy-nilly, whenever somebody needed it, and paid for any old which way. That means we have multiple accounts with the same vendor, and all administered by various people, with various logins and passwords. SO, my first job is getting all of these varied accounts combined under one site administrator for our school – me. That process, usually involving several e-mails to customer support, takes more than a week, before I get past all the automated, unhelpful, generic replies and actually obtain a human who can do something useful towards that end. Remind you of the last time you were on the phone with Customer NO-service at the Cable TV company? That is about the correct scenario. The customer service reps at most companies are either vastly overpaid, or so severely underpaid that the result is the same – Customer NO-service. *sigh*

Once I manage to consolidate all the various accounts under one account site administrator, then we are ready to buy the new stuff, OR to renew the old stuff we already bought – and then comes the payment hassles. Even though I am the mid-level manager here, I am not actually allowed to touch the sacred company credit card to make these duly purchase-ordered subscriptions. Who knows? I might charge round-trip airfare to Rio de Janiero for myself and a close friend over our upcoming five day weekend, you just don’t know. Apparently.

That means I must figure out how to track down my immediate supervisor – who is flat out open and honest about not bothering to answer her phone – EVER….to corner her in one place long enough for her to input the aforementioned sacred credit card numbers into the online form to actually purchase these resources.

And this is the end stage of the whole shebang – let’s not even mention the two weeks it took me to nail down which one of the six different subscription packages the teacher actually wanted to buy – and the wrangling over which particular budget pot of funds the payment for this subscription was going to be deducted from – all of which took place in the weeks before I finally got down to the actual purchase of the subscription online.

But, praise God, I THINK today will be the day I get to press the “purchase” button online…I may have to go out after work and have a celebratory drink…..or three……..


425: In the Moment

stuff 003I WANT to be joyously in the moment

stretching luxuriously, exulting in the feel of life as it

caresses my skin, sliding rapturously,

tantalizingly down the length of my body

all the way down to my tingling toes.

What I feel, in this moment,

is the frustration of rumpled, matted fur

as events and circumstances grate

across what sensitive nerves there are left

that are willing to feel any sensation at all.

Relaxed is what I want

and that is not what I am getting.

Mantras and deep breathing,

meditations, prayer, quiet and solitude

result in quivering tangles of anxiousness,

spinning feverishly into chaos.


and absolution,

sybaritic and sensual,


I choose calm.