Why is it so hard?
So many bemoan how there are not any “good ones” out there, male or female, who want a real, honest, true and loving relationship. If there are that many of us who are looking for it, how come so few apparently find it?
It’s because we all want to find that perfect person for us, and we want to continue just as we are, because we, ourselves, are not changing who we “really are” for anybody. Then, when some issue rears its ugly head necessitating conversation, understanding, compromise, and personal growth, meaning CHANGE, we fall back on that pride of self and convince ourselves that he/she didn’t really love me, after all, or they would not have tried to change me. And then we are off to the races (the rat races?) in search of that elusive and non-existent partner who is perfect for ME. That way, I don’t have to do any fixing on me.
Well. Buddy, hear this: maybe there are some parts of you and your character or personality that DO need to change. Like, yesterday.
See, human relationships have several stages of adjustment. Compromises – CHANGES.
The first is the adjusting you do when any two (or more) humans live together in one space. Girl-girl, boy-boy – like college roommates. That’s HUMAN stuff.
The second is the additional adjusting you do when one of you is male and one of you is female trying to live together. That is boy-girl stuff, not the same stuff as human stuff.
Then, when you are married – because then all your family expectations and roles come into play – that is married stuff – not the same as the previous two categories.
Then, you become parents. OMG. MORE stuff, times infinity to the nth power, plus one.
And you are not changing for anybody? Grow up, dudes and dudettes.