For the greatest part of my life, the majority of my problems have had their root in me. I am my own biggest problem.
Sometimes the problem was that I was afraid to try something, but that was a fairly rare occurence. Usually, the problem was because I was a bull in a china shoppe, busting through all perceived obstacles to accomplish whatever goal I had set my heart upon at the time.
After sixty (mumble-mumble) years of life experience, and thirty-two years of teaching school, I can communicate with reasonable certainty that being our own biggest problem is true for most humans.
Now, this isn’t true in every single situation and there are things that happen that are beyond the control of the individual, and those things are not what I am speaking of. For most people, in the daily course of living life that isn’t beset with extenuating circumstances beyond their control (and yes, I do know that those situations exist) it’s our own behavior, beliefs, and habits that are the root of a great many of our life’s problems, issues, and irritations.
When I was much younger, I sincerely believed that being honest was the best policy, and I valued honesty as a moral concept. It was one of my own core values. And, in the course of my daily life, I’d say or do something (or perhaps NOT do something) that got me in a tight spot where there would be some unpleasant consequence, AND I’D LIE in an attempt to avoid the unpleasantness. Get that – I violated one of my own core values. And I did it repeatedly.
It took me DECADES before I grew and matured enough to finally be able to say in one of those situations, “You know what? I did it, I should not have done it, I apologize for doing it and I will strive not to do it again.” Or, conversely, to confess that I didn’t do something that I should have gotten done and to accept the consequences of either forgetting to do it, or just not prioritizing my time properly to get it done.
I think a lot of life and sticky situations are like that example. Learning to live out my values, instead of giving them lip service only. Acknowledge a problem. Identify the cause. Formulate a strategy to avoid it, or to handle it. Practice it – or scrap it if it is unworkable and select another strategy to try, and keep doing it until I find one that works. Then, select another issue to tackle/
That ought to keep me busy fixing me and keep me out of the business of others. Sounds like a plan!
Dirtdaubber Wasp 