593: Enough

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What is enough?

What is excess – what is not enough?

Can I trust this yearning inside that tells me

yes, this is lacking, and no, that is surfeit?

There is no better judge, no better measure

of enough

than resides in this heart

that beats in this breast

in this body

that is the center of my personal universe.

There can be no better understanding

as that is the only understanding

I will ever, ever know.

Trusting what is within me

to be enough.

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569: Bygones

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Used to be friends,

much beloved kitties,

men I thought were mates – who weren’t,

belongings I lost along the way (that I still randomly include in my dreams)

plans I had for my life,

hope for the future.

That smoking hot body I remember,

the fruit trees I planted everywhere I used to live (that someone else is harvesting now),

the books I read and passed on to other readers.

The children I raised, and set free.

The person I was.

Life.

559: Dissection

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Too many people live in this body

all of them with different temperaments,

different interests, different desires, different idioms.

Several of them sound nothing like the others

and there are a few I don’t like.

Some of them I’d like to stop and stay forever.

I am learning how to tempt those to hang around,

because I like them the best.

 

480: Up to Me

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Most of what I want…is up to me.

The job I have can be accepted and embraced with a sense of optimism, and improvement – ownership. I can show up every day to endure, or I can show up every day to make a difference. Or, I can shift my butt and make a move.

The relationship I have with my significant other can be explored with thoughtful, caring concern, shored up with love, admiration, respect, and acceptance, and enhanced by deeper intimacy: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical. I can invest my time and myself in this relationship. Or, I can shift my butt and make a move.

The body I live in can be cared for, exercised, fed sensibly and prudently, stimulated with inspirational ideas and experiences, rested and invigorated with sweet dreams, shared with another who matters, and explored (by me, and whomever else I allow) for its limits. Or, I can shift my butt and make a change to get where I’d rather be.

My state of being is up to me. I decide how I am going to face the day, and in what frame of mind I will live out my hours in this rotation of the Earth. I can reflect on what happens during my day, and I can choose to shift my butt and modify my behavior so that next time I get a more pleasant result.

My circumstances are partly under my control, in that my choices and decisions contributed to what I am experiencing, and where I am today. What part of my circumstances that isn’t under my control is still mine to respond to, and that IS a choice I get to make. I can shift my butt, and make conscious, not knee-jerk, choices.

It is my life and if it is mine, I can shift my butt and with happiness aforethought – I can deliberately LIVE IT.

Thank God every sunrise is a new beginning. I CAN shift my butt today. My choice, my opportunity.

51: Bodily changes

If I could change some things about my body, I would first choose smaller…..mammary glands. Running as an exercise has been uncomfortable since about age….14.  The second thing I would change is gender. I have been female now for 51 years, and from what I can see and have experienced, bring a girl is NOT the favored option in the gender lottery.

The next thing is my sinuses. I am tired of having allergies that cause runny nose. It is inconvenient. And messy.

I think that’s about it.

Honestly, if that’s all there is to complain about, I guess I am pretty blessed.