590: Respect for Humans

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I love you.

You are another human bean, sprouting,

growing into the best human you can be – being.

You are completely, totally, irrevocably unique among the billions of other beans that exist, breathe, scream, laugh, sorrow, rejoice, live….just like every other bean….totally unique.

This sense of you being the only one (which you ARE) works only so long as you remember that you are the ONE among all the other ONES.

They (ALL) deserve exactly the same high regard that you do, since they are also totally unique ONES, with all their advantages, disadvantages, successes, failures, flaws and strengths. Totally unique.

You cannot MAKE more of yourself, than another – for to do so lessens us all. You can have what you earn, what you are given, not what you take – that cost of taking is high in this life and in the next, and payment will be exacted upon you, and upon us, for what you take that you have not earned nor been given.

Live your life, and let others live their lives.

Do no harm. Try to live and do no harm.

For us all.

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577: Maturing with Age

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I hope everyone is aware that growing bigger and older does not equate with becoming a mature person. Achieving the age of majority and being considered a legal adult has absolutely nothing to do with making wise decisions, or living your life in a mature, healthy manner.

Maturity is coming to grips with yourself, all of yourself, the good, strong parts that you like and celebrate, and the shameful weaknesses that you have struggled to overcome, and that you may still struggle to overcome – but at least you have named them, and in so doing, you have robbed them of their power in your determination to rid them from your character and life. You can look back at your personal history and come to some sort of peace with it, knowing and accepting that you were not perfect, and that you are no longer that person, thank God.

Part of that maturing is understanding that even if you could go back and change things, that you would not do so. This is because you made the decisions you made thinking they were the best ones you could make. Looking back with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I can see that decisions I once made for the greater good (not only for me, but for those I was responsible for) didn’t work out as I had hoped that they would. I could not have known that looking forward -no one could have known that. Thus, I would not change them. They helped me grow and mature into the person I have become, who is not the person who others knew years ago.

My conscience is clear. I made my apologies to those I  wounded along the journey (both deliberately and unintentionally). What they do with my sincere regret is not in my hands. They will have their own maturing to do, as they come to terms with their own flaws. All humans have them.

I am responsible for me. I always have been, even when I blamed others in my youth, arrogance, and ignorance.

Maturity is a hard-won badge of honor. Not everyone gets there.

571: Maybe it IS you…

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There is a huge culture now of “accept me as I am.” It is the “be yourself, and don’t change who you are for anyone or anything.” Yeah, well….I get that idea, but I see the problems this healthy self-acceptance beginning eventually leads to – and it isn’t pretty.

See, in the old days, people celebrated bettering themselves, and overcoming character flaws, not congratulating themselves on refusing to change for any reason whatsoever (deserving or not). Literature abounds with heros who have to overcome their flaws to be successful. Those are character flaws. People have them. These character flaws need, and deserve to be, overcome, conquered, mastered, vanquished. For the good of the individual, and for the good of us all.

Sometimes, the problem really, truthfully IS YOU. And it may be genuinely you, but it is a part of you that genuinely needs to be changed, repaired, fixed. And, sometimes, it’s me. I’ve been working on me for several decades now, and there are still some things I have not yet mastered that need to be fixed.

If I can recognize that I can be a better human, so can everyone else, because I assure you, there isn’t anyone breathing who could not use a little self-improvement.

412: Quasimodo in Female Form

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Some days, that’s me. Some days, that’s you (female or not). Sometimes we all fall off the normal cliff, straight into crazy.

What triggers that Hulkish transformation varies person-to-person. My trigger is probably not your trigger. I know myself well enough to realize that I have more than one trigger. You probably do, too.

We all like to think we are rational, logical, considerate people. Yeah, right. On a good day, maybe.

There are some parts of my own psyche that I keep crammed down deep into a box in a private corner of my personality, with three triple-locked chains wrapped tightly around the box. I am always horribly upset at myself every single time that box gets opened, whether it is opened by me, or by someone else pulling one of my triggers. I don’t like those parts of myself. Those are not the parts I look at in the mirror. Those are not the parts I list on my resume, under the category of “strengths.” But…

Those parts are still me, until I can conquer them and get them under my conscious control, and even then, they are still part of me…even then. That explains the triple-locked chains. I am working on it.

I can only hope you are working on yours.

350: Evidence to the Contrary

the-plain-unwelcome-fact-is-that-sometimes-life-stymies-you-quote-1Sometimes facts just GET IN THE WAY of what I wanted to do in the first place. Nothing is more annoying than somebody who points out the obvious flaws in my plans – the ones that just prior to their logical revelations, I HAD considered to be well-laid plans. Dammit. Dung pile. Pony loaf. Taurus feces, and other colorful and stinky epithets. Now I am faced with the choice of plowing ahead and doing what I wanted to do anyway, flying in the face of logic and reason (and what reasonable person obstinately, knowingly and willingly does THAT), or bowing graciously to my higher self (unwilling notwithstanding) and changing my ideas around to fit the unavoidable facts. Poop. Dookey. Horse cookies and cow pies. Rabbit Raisinettes.