429: Liberals and Lunch

Liberals have an agenda. They earnestly believe that they know best, and seek to impose that higher, nobler ideology on all of us lesser beings using every trick in the book: the courts, the culture, groundless, open attacks, their lapdog media sycophants, etc. What makes them dangerous, instead of just laughable (which they also are) is the big liberal dollars backing them up and their own earnest, sincere belief that they do know better than I do how to live my own life, and what I should be doing, saying, and thinking, as opposed to what I am doing, saying, and thinking.

Our revered leader (tarnished somewhat, but nevertheless inviolate enough that there is STILL no move on to impeach his useless ass) has a wife. This woman (according to most media resources, although some present a convincing case on Michelle/Michael being a trannie) has decided that America is obese, and she has used her husband’s executive orders to force schools to adopt an extremely restrictive school lunch program designed to get every public school child in America to lose a few. By law. Because, of course, she knows best.

Let’s just politely ignore the fact that Michelle “wide load,” all-about-dat-bass Obama is packing a rump that would make Sir Mix-A-Lot’s anaconda stand to attention, and agree that some American children are obese, but that under no circumstances whatsoever are all of them. And all of them get to suffer under Michelle’s new rules, not just those who could use an extra period of Phys. Ed.

Plus, in many parts of America – and more and more parts under her husband’s administration – the food a child gets at public school, government-subsidized lunch (now that the number of Welfare and food stamp families has skyrocketed) is sometimes pretty much all they get all day. What we see actual photos of what passes for a school lunch under Michelle’s reign leaves one to wonder if she is using the savings on purchasing food for schoolchildren to finance her family’s numerous personal vacations. Hey, the money has to come from SOMEwhere, and it is perfectly obvious they ain’t buying food with it for America’s kids.




404: Screwed Yet Again

Sometimes we (I) get screwed unintentionally. Events, choices and circumstance (luck?) manage to combine in ways that just work me over in the worst sorts of ways, completely without intentional design, malice aforethought, or evil intentions. This is the life we live, and sometimes it just sucks. Fortunately, that is not the majority of the time, just occasionally, when these black stars align and the pieces fall into poor and undesirable order.

When that happens, you pray, you dig in, you regroup, and you perform damage control to the extent possible. You also do all that you can do to ensure that this particular set of circumstances never conspires to work you over again in this same way. Sometimes you kick your own butt because your foresight was defective, and you did not see this coming in time to head it off. Sometimes you are just a leaf floating on the flood, and there wasn’t anything you could possibly have done to avert the disaster you are now facing. Sometimes you are a parent, and you are watching disaster careen down towards your beloved child, and you can clearly see it coming, you have warned them, and they just have to learn for themselves. I was that kind of kid, too, at times. Sorry, mom and dad, that I was once too stubborn to listen and learn from your experience and wisdom.

Well. I did see this one coming, there just was little I could do to avert it. Some of the choices I made earlier, before this loomed on the horizon, tied my hands. At my work, there is a huge software program that handles, literally, every aspect of school functioning: human resources, accounting, inventory, lesson plans, standards, parent/student communication, discipline, staff, faculty, records, report cards, etc., etc., etc.

I am new to the school this year. Because I am multi-subject certified, and want to help when there is a problem, I finished this year not only as the school’s educational technology coordinator, but also as a FULL-time teacher, and a part-time administrator of this new software package. Because I have fresh eyes, I found several problems with the way our school had previously, years ago before I was hired, set up our courses. These problems mean that every report card for the last two years for both middle school and high school is wrong. In more than one way. I mean, like leaving out entire classes from student records that students took, PLUS incorrect calculation of student credits accrued towards graduation. These are not small, insignificant errors.

So, I asked to attend the international training conference for this software package that handles all of our stuff, where the errors are that I found. My school agreed to foot the bill for this, usual practice when a staff member undergoes professional development training specifically for the school. I asked for this since I was an assistant administrator on this software package, and I knew I needed to know more than I currently know about it. The other lady at my school, who is the knowledgeable person on this software, had been to the conference previously, and did not want to attend again. First hint. She also refused to commit to returning to our school for the upcoming year. Number two hint (and all that pun implies).

WHILE AT THE SOFTWARE CONFERENCE, another conference attendee from another school nearby, who used to work for the school where I work, told me that she saw a Facebook post from the software administration lady at my school celebrating that she got a new job in the USA. Poop. Shirt, shoes and sox. Dookey. Other scatological references galore. I do know what this means.

I am the only staff member from my school in attendance at this learning conference. There is no way my school can get someone else here for this training to take over the administration of this program for our school – I am it. I know I am going to be handed the administration of this Goliath software program on a silver platter, for at least the next year, in addition to the other duties I already shoulder. Crap. Scat. Coprolite. Feces. Every word on this website, times two. http://www.poopnames.com/

There is the slight possibility that the school will hire someone to do this administration instead of me – and perhaps the person will already be familiar with the program. Slight chance. Slight. I did have hints that this was coming – I just don’t have the resources to take a bunk like she did. I literally do not have the money saved to be able to relocate, in spite of attractive job offers in other schools, in other countries. *sigh*

Time to suck it up. hunker down and dig in – all of which is disgusting, considering what it is that I am sucking up, hunkering into and digging up.

377: Getting Drunk on Panama’s Largesse

I am living in Panama, in a little housing development of 11 small houses, in a fenced compound. This compound has mature mango trees, several papaya and banana trees, lime trees, coconut palms and…two cashew trees. Here in Spanish, they are called marañon (pronounced ma-ran-nyon). Cashew trees are interesting. I am learning a lot.fruit 006

Cashew trees bear cashew fruit, commonly referred to as apples, which are the STEM of the cashew nut. The nut grows on the bottom of the stem, which swells with liquid as the nut matures.fruit 005It looks really pretty, like the tree is hung with red and yellow Christmas bells. The fruit drops from the tree, and can be collected and used for a variety of things. There is a great youtube video about how to process cashew fruit and nuts from a village in Belize: http://www.villageviewpost.com/2010/05/cashew-nuts-preparation-crooked-tree.html

I am apparently the only person in the complex who collects the fruit. I make wine. I twist off the nut, and squeeze the juice-filled fruit, strain it, sweeten it somewhat, add some ginger, and add yeast. It ferments for a few weeks, and I strain it multiple times to filter out sediment, and bottle it.stuff 008

It’s pretty potent stuff…and it’s free.

Meanwhile, the nuts are drying in the sun (no pun intended).fruit 011 Next, I will roast the nuts I have been saving over an open fire (like the video shows). Then, I get to crack out the cashews, and see if I like them, too, as much as I like the wine!


164: Morbid, with a really catchy tune


I have been humming this dad-gum thing all day.

My mom sends me e-mails of all sorts. I am not sure where she FINDS these things.  This one is a safety video from Australia about safety around trains. But it also incorporates the silliest other ways to die as well, in a cute cartoon format that is really funny to watch. It reminds me of the Darwin Awards (Google it).

If you have never looked up the Darwin Awards, the premise is this: Charles Darwin is the author of the Theory of Evolution, or the transcendence of the human species – WE are supposedly its pinnacle. The theory goes something like this: we all evolved, slowly and with great trial and error, from single-celled organisms, into what we have today, and our species is constantly improving itself because of the principle of “survival of the fittest.” This means the dumb ones are continually being killed off, due to their own stupidity, before they have the chance to pass along their genes to the next generation. After millions of years of this sort of survivalist breeding, we should all be geniuses, right? Well. Yeah, right.

The Darwin Awards are a tongue-in-cheek nod to the people who are stupid enough to remove themselves from the gene pool in the most absurd ways imaginable. Just look it up and read the stories of some of the past winners, an overwhelming percentage of whom are male. Lately, the Awards have been expanded to include those who don’t actually manage to kill themselves, but who DO manage to render themselves incapable of reproduction. The buck stops here. Those stories, like this cute train safety video clip, are also morbidly funny, and I challenge you to read them without laughing. Yes, people DIE, but it is their own stupid fault.

The link to the train video, so YOU can be humming it all day long, too:  http://www.upworthy.com/australia-officially-has-the-most-adorably-morbid-train-safety-video-ever?c=upw1