606: Independence and helping

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I prefer to do things myself.

Partly this is my nature, and more than that, this is my experience. I have been taught through many harsh life lessons that things do not happen unless I can make them happen all by my little old self. I have had many people who were supposed to be very important people to me, who were supposed to have my best interests at heart, who were supposed to be there for me when I was down and out – who weren’t. I learned that I can only count on what I can get done myself, with my own admittedly meager muscle, brain, wit, courage, and brawn.

I fight hard not to ask for help, and give in only when I cannot do it by myself. Even then, I usually have tried everything I know to do to get it done first, before I submit and give in, acknowledge my weakness, and ask for help. I do it only when I can’t, and I’ve tried.

So, when I ask you for help, hat in hand and humble, you need to understand what it costs me to ask you.

When you give me an exasperated glance, that long-suffering sigh, with that “how dare you importune me for this ridiculous, unnecessary, paltry, pittance of a request, you annoying woman” look you have perfected on your face?

Guess how I feel.

602: Stubborn

I understand that things can get difficult. Even when they are first world problems (which means they are issues of privilege), they are still problems. True, mine are generally insignificant ones, compared to life and death problems that many people the world over are struggling with each and every day, that is quite true. But they are still problems, even if they are insignificant ones (when viewed through that realistic lens).  Let’s be real, nobody is holding a gun to my head, literally (even if I sometimes feel like that figuratively). I still have choices (even when it feels like I don’t).

Understanding that most of my problems are small ones (nothing life or death, here!) SHOULD make it somewhat easier to suck it up, buttercup – and MOVE ON. *sigh*

Time to find my inner stubborn, and kick that ass into gear.

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595: Different Views

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Lots of people like to claim fact to support their opinion, and that is generally a good thing – having factual support for the opinion that you hold. It does not, however, mean that your opinion is correct because you have a fact (or several) to cite.

Facts are data. Your opinion is your interpretation of how that fact came into being (cause), your opinion on how that fact has applied (effect) to the situation, and your opinion on how best to ameliorate that fact or situation you think it applies to (solution). Once you state your fact, everything else you spout is opinion. Understand that truth. Even if you have historical precedent that your opinion worked out one way in the past, it does not always mean that it will work out that way now, in the present.

Two people can see the same fact and interpret it widely differently based on the filters, experience, education, and logic they bring with them to interpret those facts, which they use to form their opinions.

Therein lies the rub, particularly when the issues that are being discussed are political ones, or social issues. Those are not simple issues, in part because they affect people of widely differing values, cultures, and circumstances. A solution that works for one segment of the population disenfranchises other segments – a truth that continually evades lawmakers.

I am apparently among the very small minority of people who can respect someone whose opinion differs from mine. I still do not think they are correct, but I can respect that they have some basis for their opinion in fact – exactly like I do. Even when I think they are completely wrong, and they have no basis in fact that I can determine, they are still a human being entitled to their opinion – exactly like I am. YES, it is best if opinions can be formed with factual bases, but understand even when they ARE, we can still legitimately differ in our opinions.

And *I* can respect that.

 

587: To be….is to act as if

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I am.

You are.

We act as if we are.

Mostly.

I can’t help it if some people (using that term loosely, mind you) act as if they are not. I am not responsible for people who deliberately choose to be less. It isn’t because of me, or because of how I voted, or any other reason than the true one – they CHOSE.

I can’t help that, but I can condemn it, and we as a group can prosecute and punish it, and so we should.

While the rest of us act as if….we ARE…..human BEings.

574: Those Who Are Important

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There are those people who are important

to me, and those who are important to you.

I trust your judgment even when

I do not trust those who are important to you.

In this, this important life that lives between us, I am not central and

you are not central. The life that lives between us, and binds us heart-to-heart,

is central.

Because of you, I choose to respect those who are important to you,

to honor the life between us.

To honor you.

559: Dissection

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Too many people live in this body

all of them with different temperaments,

different interests, different desires, different idioms.

Several of them sound nothing like the others

and there are a few I don’t like.

Some of them I’d like to stop and stay forever.

I am learning how to tempt those to hang around,

because I like them the best.

 

554: Funny

It is funny how most outspoken people are convinced of the rightness of their views. Those who are less outspoken generally are more willing to consider someone else’s point of view instead of being so busy proclaiming their own. People who see only the rightness of their own views are tiring people. They do not allow for different circumstances, or different experiences in their view of the way the world should be. This is not an indictment of liberals or conservatives, Americans or any other nationalities, religious/spiritual/non-spiritual people, environmentalists or hunters, pro-choice or pro-life, or any other of the labels that serve mightily to divide people and stratify humanity on the side of one fence or the other.

It’s funny how every single person has things, issues, behaviors, and actions that they consider to be right, wrong, and proper, or socially acceptable. And in holding those views, often we slight someone else who has different circumstances, and/or different experiences that have shaped THEIR right, wrong, and proper.

It is funny how even within a single country, a single state, or a single town, there are different sorts of people, from various backgrounds, with different life experiences. Factor in different countries, different cultures, different languages, and all those other differences that make up the people living today, and you can begin to understand why one view of right, wrong, and proper does not fit everyone.

Yes, I have some views of what is right and what is wrong. And I try hard to live my life in accordance with those views. But I can live peaceably among people who do not share my views, my precious views, those things I consider right and wrong. It is possible.

It is funny how that is actually possible. The sad part is how few are willing to try doing just that.