299: Randomness: From Other People

God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Really? And you were there to verify this? For all you know, there were only two women at first, and they reproduced asexually. That’s MY theory, and I’m sticking to it.

The theory of Evolution is just that…a theory. So is the Big Bang Theory. Since none of us were there to tell the tale, let’s just all accept that it happened, and let it go at that. OK?

Children are unfair punishment for sex. REALLY. Then don’t have any – problem solved.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.  And kill off anybody who does not live by this rule. Oh, wait a minute………..

Dragonflies are awesome. ANY creature that feeds on mosquitoes I am a big fan of. Even bats.

Frog legs, turtle toes, chicken lips, and lizard elbows. (Snack table at the monster ball.)

“You can’t believe all the quotes you read on the Internet.” Ben Franklin

From this day forward, I accept a late paper from a student only with a $1,000 dollar fine. And then, it only counts for half credit. That should fix the problem.

Cats provide interesting life lessons. One of them is this one: if all else fails, take a nap. I like cattitude.

Morocco has crazy taxi drivers and even crazier regular drivers. Really, the most dangerous thing you can do in Morocco is be on the road – driving OR walking.

School is a great place for do-overs. Life usually isn’t.

Men and women are not of the same species. SERIOUSLY. Not even remotely. At all.

Home-grown tomatoes are exquisite – and so is home-grown spinach. Pretty much anything home-grown beats something purchased at the market. Grow a garden – at least as long as the government will allow you to do so…….

Housework and homework stink. That’s why they are called work. Otherwise, they’d be called housefun and homefun.

Cats and dogs are smarter than people. Don’t think so? Whose pet are YOU?

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29:Random thoughts

What if animals really are talking to each other? What are they saying about ME?

Why does it take two people to reproduce? I think we each need a switch, and BOTH switches have to be set to OK for a baby to result from sex. That way, both future parents have to agree on having a baby before one results from the activity. Until both switches are set to OK, it is just practice. Would that be a help or a hindrance to society? Would there be more babies or less?

What if we did not need to sleep? WOW. What I could get done.

What if we had an alternate method of reproduction – like, say shaking hands? That would sure make it easier to go to the bathroom whenever you needed, since those body part places would no longer be associated with sex. We’d have to come up with a new greeting, though. Maybe sniffing crotches like dogs? EEEUUUWWWwww. Never mind.

What if we did not need to eat, but got our nourishment from the sun, water and air, like plants do? What kinds of changes would THAT make in our world?

What if there was no money, and everyone returned to bartering for things they wanted and needed?

What if there was a third sex? What would they be like?

What if we got new babies from the supermarket, like groceries? What if they did not cost anything to get, you just got to choose one? How many should a person be allowed to choose? As many as they like, or should there be a limit?

What if we had wings, and no longer needed other forms of transportation? What would happen to donkeys if that came to pass? How would that affect the rest of our world, because oil would be worthless except for by-products like petroleum jelly, and heating for homes. And how much Vaseline can anybody use, anyway?

What if we could smell as well as dogs smell? Would that do away with illegal drugs, because everybody could tell?

What if we did have eyes in the back of our heads? I’d have to change my hairstyle.

What if we were all nice to everyone else?