611: Respect

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I am going to treat you like a mature, responsible, respectful human being…until you prove to me that you are not. Then, I will deal with the problem you are, or that you caused. The next time, I will treat you again like a mature, responsible, respectful human being….until you prove again that you are not. Again, I will deal with you. The third time, I will probably treat you like a real human person – repeat scenario. MAYBE the fourth time I will treat you respectfully……but I will also curtail what I will allow you to do, and how much interaction I have with you, because you have proven over time that you have no interest in adjusting those parts of you that are not mature, responsible and respectful.

And all of that is all on you.

Every stinking bit of it.

595: Different Views

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Lots of people like to claim fact to support their opinion, and that is generally a good thing – having factual support for the opinion that you hold.┬áIt does not, however, mean that your opinion is correct because you have a fact (or several) to cite.

Facts are data. Your opinion is your interpretation of how that fact came into being (cause), your opinion on how that fact has applied (effect) to the situation, and your opinion on how best to ameliorate that fact or situation you think it applies to (solution). Once you state your fact, everything else you spout is opinion. Understand that truth. Even if you have historical precedent that your opinion worked out one way in the past, it does not always mean that it will work out that way now, in the present.

Two people can see the same fact and interpret it widely differently based on the filters, experience, education, and logic they bring with them to interpret those facts, which they use to form their opinions.

Therein lies the rub, particularly when the issues that are being discussed are political ones, or social issues. Those are not simple issues, in part because they affect people of widely differing values, cultures, and circumstances. A solution that works for one segment of the population disenfranchises other segments – a truth that continually evades lawmakers.

I am apparently among the very small minority of people who can respect someone whose opinion differs from mine. I still do not think they are correct, but I can respect that they have some basis for their opinion in fact – exactly like I do. Even when I think they are completely wrong, and they have no basis in fact that I can determine, they are still a human being entitled to their opinion – exactly like I am. YES, it is best if opinions can be formed with factual bases, but understand even when they ARE, we can still legitimately differ in our opinions.

And *I* can respect that.

 

575: Questioning the Divide

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When there is a difference of opinion, there is a divide between us.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

The distance is less of a problem than it is a safety net.

When my explanations to you are met with dismissal, and you can only keep expounding your views (which views I disagree with), that divide becomes more and more a safety zone

instead of an intellectual difference – a divide I increasingly wish to never, ever cross.

I don’t ask you what your reasons are. I believe that I understand them, and I respect that you hold those views – and I respect YOU. I have not challenged you to change your views with my facts (which you discount as valid, anyway). WHY are you compelled to challenge me?

I can love you without having to agree with you on every issue.

Why do you say hurtful things to me when you are frustrated that I have not come around to your way of thinking? When I retreat from you rather than continue to argue with you?

I do not insult you.

Have you come to the conclusion that those demons inside you that cannot be drowned (because they know only too well how to swim) must be desiccated to death in the desert instead?

I have

I don’t want to need so much safety

Please stop widening the chasm between us

574: Those Who Are Important

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There are those people who are important

to me, and those who are important to you.

I trust your judgment even when

I do not trust those who are important to you.

In this, this important life that lives between us, I am not central and

you are not central. The life that lives between us, and binds us heart-to-heart,

is central.

Because of you, I choose to respect those who are important to you,

to honor the life between us.

To honor you.

499: Inevitable

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You are the man.

The drive, the force, the strength.

I am the woman.

The receptacle, the pliable, the resilient.

You are mine

in the way that I am yours.

We blend

magnificently.

What I am complements what you are.

What you need, I seek to supply.

What I need, you supply.

We feed each other

in a daily dance of respect and honor.

You lead me to the great I Am.

I lead you to the well.

We share, each other.

We share, worship.

We share, sacrament.

We share.

476: MAKE Me

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You make me.

You make me improve. I want to be better when I am with you. I want to be worthy of you, and I want you to enjoy being with the person that I am too.

You make me live. I like doing things because you enjoy them, too – I get up and get moving because I know someone else (important to me) is up and moving, too – let’s start the day!

You make me think. About lots of things – things that are silly, things that are inspirational, things that are depressing, things that I might not take the time to consider, if not for the fact that you said something, or did something, that made me pause, and think. I like it!

You make me laugh. When you confess quirky things you did, or express your interesting takes on life, love, and the world in general. I delight in you and the ways that you are human. Laughter is a good way to live life.

You make me respect. I respect the person I see that lives inside of you – the respect you have for others inspires me to offer to others often undeserved respect because they are human, too. You make me respect the me I can see reflected from you.

You make me appreciate myself. All the ways that I am: the things I enjoy, the things I will not do for all the right reasons, the ways I am strong, and the ways I look to your strength instead of depending on my own. I stand taller because of you.

You make me joyful. Sharing all sorts of things with you is a delight for the senses and the spirit. You are never boring, even when there is nothing special happening – it is still special. That is amazingly joyful!

You make me hope. What I thought I would never find, could never have, would never experience. You make it all seem not only possible, but incredibly enough, actually within reach. I hope.

You make me dream of all that could be. Of all that will be between us. Of all that life can offer us both.

Now, we get to see if I can make you, too.

453: Yours and MINE

I respect that you are concerned with protecting your turf. What you fail to take into consideration is that “your turf” was MINE long, long, long years before you ever came into the picture. I stepped aside to make room for you, and now, you are protecting your turf – from ME.

You know what?

My mama raised me to be a woman, not a freaking lady, and I don’t give a good rat’s ass about manners when it comes to my family. YOU are a recent addition to my family, and there are loyalties that precede your arrival. I am trying to be respectful to you, but frankly, I don’t give a good rat’s ass what you think, and I don’t care a whole lot more about protecting your tender feelings.

You watch your rat’s ass, because I may just mow you down.