610: Touching my toes

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I think I understand why people are willing to pay for those expensive pedicures – they can’t clip their toenails and breathe at the same time…..JS!

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341: Useless

Did you ever go into work on a day when you KNEW before you got there that you were going to be virtually useless for the day?

That’s today. So – you (actually I) are faced with the decision of whether to go anyway, and fill in the time doing whatever you can manage to get accomplished anyway, knowing that it will be completely bogus and will all probably have to be re-done all over again when you return to work on a day when all of you can actually be present to work, and not just the physical, empty shell of a body that showed up today, OR do you phone in to your boss and fake that phlegmy-sounding cough while you lie about how sick you really aren’t, taking a sick day because you never use them anyway, and you have, like, nearly a hundred saved up that you know they are never going to pay you for anyway, but you keep showing up to work when you are sick anyway, thinking morbidly that maybe some day you will have cancer and you’ll have five year’s worth of sick days saved up, so everything will be just fine.

OR, do you (I) show up for work and do something sneakily bogus, like, visit everyone in the company personally, asking for their feedback on some nifty new project you brainstormed, so it looks like you are industriously gathering DATA while you are actually just visiting everyone and wasting the eight hours so they will pay you, because let’s face it, that’s the real reason you show up for work on ANY given day, and not just this useless day?

OR, do you just blow it all off, phone in and take a personal day, claiming you have vitally important errands you absolutely must accomplish today, even though you only get three personal days a year, as opposed to the 12 sick days you get that you never use even when you are sick, and you already know that the most important, vital thing you might actually get accomplished today is a long-overdue pedicure, where you meticulously trim, buff and polish your toenails a trendy shade of blue or lime green or yellow that you bought at the mall because you were standing in a long check-out line and they had this display of ridiculous nail polishes bearing no resemblance to anything life-like, but you were stuck there in line for over 40 minutes with nothing else to do but stare at them, so you bought one of each?

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Yeah, well – this is one of those days.