I understand that things can get difficult. Even when they are first world problems (which means they are issues of privilege), they are still problems. True, mine are generally insignificant ones, compared to life and death problems that many people the world over are struggling with each and every day, that is quite true. But they are still problems, even if they are insignificant ones (when viewed through that realistic lens). Let’s be real, nobody is holding a gun to my head, literally (even if I sometimes feel like that figuratively). I still have choices (even when it feels like I don’t).
Understanding that most of my problems are small ones (nothing life or death, here!) SHOULD make it somewhat easier to suck it up, buttercup – and MOVE ON. *sigh*
Time to find my inner stubborn, and kick that ass into gear.
What is enough?
What is excess – what is not enough?
Can I trust this yearning inside that tells me
yes, this is lacking, and no, that is surfeit?
There is no better judge, no better measure
than resides in this heart
that beats in this breast
in this body
that is the center of my personal universe.
There can be no better understanding
as that is the only understanding
I will ever, ever know.
Trusting what is within me
to be enough.
Usually, I cope well with frustration.
I recognize that a small thing is indeed a small thing, and not worth getting my feathers in a fluff. Frustration is an opportunity to practice patience (ugh), forbearance, understanding, and forgiveness. Generally, even with something that truly aggravates me, I can fairly quickly get over it, even if that takes a day or two to conquer it. And that something is a zinger, to take a day or two.
There are, however, a few times when something little happens, and it zings right down to the fundamental level and refuses to be banished, not even in a day or two. It hangs around and intrudes on my thoughts for quite some time.
Those things, even when they are really, truly, small things – are not small things to ME. Those things are a signal that something much larger is going on, and that I need to pay attention and deal with what is really going on – not the admittedly little thing that set me off. Something is going on that needs some focused thought and effort, because if I get bent out of shape over something little, that something little is a symptom of a much bigger problem.
And thoughtfully and seriously dealing with significant issues is EVERYBODY’S very favorite thing to do, right? Right, me neither.
Dealing. Digging. Inspecting. Weeding. Understanding, forgiving.