678: Asking for help and control

Luke 18:1-8

New International Version

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

18 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. ² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. ³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. ⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

May the Lord add His blessings to the reading of His word.

This parable Jesus told of the widow and the unjust judge gives us a comparison between Earth and Heaven. The unjust judge is Earth. Things, or people, of Earth have no reason to do good things for us. The unjust judge doesn’t care about us. The unjust judge is busy with his own concerns, as our society is also doing. The world is not focused on giving me what I want – it’s not even focused on giving me what I need.

The widow in this story had a legitimate need. The unjust judge (the world) just didn’t care. The world, like the unjust judge, does not care that you have a legitimate need.

This widow, however, was persistent. She didn’t give up. She kept coming, and she kept asking.

Scripture tells us we don’t get because we don’t ask. James 4: 2-3 says You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

I confess. I have struggled with this for years. This part of scripture really ticks me off. Excuse me. God is God, and He knows everything. HE KNOWS what I need. HE ALREADY KNOWS! Before I ask, HE KNOWS. And the scripture says, I don’t get because I don’t ask. Sheesh.

It isn’t like God needs me to tell him what it is that I need. Often I think He’s probably up in Heaven shaking His head over the stupid stuff I ask for – the scripture in James says we ask for the wrong motives and THAT’S surely enough Biblical truth, right there, and another whole sermon all in itself. God does not need me to tell him what I need based on my requests when I pray. So, why should I have to ask when HE KNOWS?

Well, number 1, just because He said to ask, that’s why. God is God. If HE wants something, He wants it, period. It does not matter what I think, because you know what? I am not God. He wants what He wants – and it is my job to obey.

Number 2, God wants us to ask because we humans, including me, have a nasty habit of just accepting good stuff when it happens as just good stuff that happens. We forget where our good stuff is coming from, because I can guarantee you, it isn’t coming from the world.

Don’t get me wrong, God has abundantly blessed me with good things far beyond what I ever have deserved based on my words, actions, or existence as a human being, far beyond what I’ve ever deserved or earned. And still, I look back and I am ashamed to admit, I far too often didn’t acknowledge His generosity and goodness when those blessings occurred. THIS is why God tells us to ASK. When you ask someone for something and get it, you KNOW where it came from, and it wasn’t just a freak of nature or some circumstance, or just good luck – what do you think “good luck” is, anyway?

When you have ASKED, you know darn good and well where that blessing came from and you are a whole lot more likely to remember to say thank you for the gift, aren’t you?

So, for my hard-headed self, God wants me to ASK. And this story about the widow and the unjust judge is one more time Jesus explains to us hard-headed humans that God wants us to ASK.

A lot of us act like God in Heaven is sitting on His throne and He suddenly turns to His angels and yells, “OM Goodness, did you see what just happened to Dianne? Quick! Convene the Advisory Council immediately – we gotta do something about this right now!”

Even saying it sounds stupid, right? And even though we all know that’s not how God does things, quite often we ACT like that’s how God does things. Nope. That’s how WE do things.

God is not panicked by the stuff that happens to us. It’s all under his control, and even when we do not understand it, God is never surprised by stuff that happens and He is totally able to handle it all by Himself – even when He allows us to help sometimes because we need it as part of what we need to learn. There’s another whole sermon all by itself, too.

Last Sunday, our Sunday School lesson started out with a story about a man who was standing on a beach, in front of the crashing waves. He had his back turned to the glorious sight and sound of the waves foaming towards the shore. He stood, turned away from the sight and sound of the mighty ocean with a seashell pressed up against his ear – trying to hear the sound of the ocean in the shell – while he was standing in front of the real thing with his back turned toward it, seeking the pale imitation of the ocean in an object he could control. If that’s not a metaphor for the human race, I don’t know what one is.

It is a metaphor for me and my journey. I like feeling like I am in control, even though realistically, I am aware that I control nothing, not even my next breath. I still like feeling as though I am in control of myself and my circumstances. I don’t have to control others and everything, just me and my circumstances. And when I humble myself and ask someone else for help with something (even when I ask God for it), I am acknowledging that I am not in control, and I do not like that one teeny tiny little bit.

Early on, I learned at great cost that if I cannot get it done on my own, it usually just doesn’t happen, because I learned that I can depend on no one. Husband One would do anything for anybody else that he could do, and everyone thought he was a great guy – and THEY didn’t have to live with him. He would do anything he could do for anybody else. I learned if I didn’t do it, it didn’t get done. I learned not to even bother to ask. It took quite some time, but I had two decades to learn that lesson very, very well.

I learned it so well that it affected my relationship with God Himself. God was waiting for me to unlearn what I had learned from my husband, and instead, for me to learn to ask my loving Father in Heaven for what I needed. Do you know how difficult it is to ask for help when you have been shown over and over and over that humbling yourself to ask for help, showing you are not in control and need someone else’s help, only to have them not help you? Asking for help is a learned skill for me, and I still suck at it.

This example of the unjust, uncaring judge who finally gave the widow the good thing helps me understand that if a judge who respects neither God Himself, or what the people think, can give a good thing to a woman with no other resource or recourse just because she is persistent enough to ask and keep asking, that my loving Heavenly Father will listen and respond to my asking because He actually DOES care about me.

All I have to do is ask. Even if it is hard to ask. God cares. He wants me to ask. So, I am learning to ask.

Last year, I had a very rough year at work. I didn’t respond well to the challenges, and I struggled to the point that I sought professional help. Yes, Christians can use counseling, too. Loving Jesus does not always mean that we will deal with challenges well, or even in a Christ-like manner. I certainly wasn’t handling my challenges well at all. So, I sought help and I began asking God to help me understand what lessons I needed to learn, and where He wanted me to improve.

See that passage in James says sometimes when we do ask, we ask for the wrong motives and when we ask for things with the wrong motives, we still don’t get, because what we are asking for isn’t in God’s plans for us in the first place, because what we are asking for isn’t what’s good for us in the first place.

I asked for what God wanted for me – what were His plans for me. I asked Him to forgive me for the times I let Him down last year (and before) and didn’t show others who I belonged to. I wasn’t a good example of grace under pressure. I didn’t do the right thing, too many times. I could have done better, He showed me where I could have done better, and I began working to incorporate those lessons into my thoughts and behavior. I began asking for what God wanted me to ask for – to seek His face and His will.

And things began to change. Since I had asked, and I knew whom I had asked, when those changes began to happen, I knew whom to thank. That tough job became a new job that’s still challenging, but it’s totally different from the job I had before and I praise Him daily for the change. Maybe the goodness of the change is not just the change of location, even though that’s part of it, to be sure – I suspect a lot of the improvement is the change He’s made in me. I thank Him for that, too.

Unlike the man on the beach who is trying to hear the ocean in the seashell he controls, I am learning to turn and face the ocean in all its fearsome, awesome beauty and power – and I am learning to appreciate the power of what I never could control in the first place. I am learning to ask for what God wants for me and for my family – my husband, my parents, my children and grandchildren.

And God, being God, is giving. And I, being His grateful child, am thanking Him every day, since I asked, and I know whom I asked and where these blessings are coming from.

This helps explain Jesus’ last question in this scripture passage, when He asks, “When the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the Earth?” Will there still be those who seek to want what God wants, who want to ask God for what He wants for them, and who remember to thank Him for the blessing He provides? I plan to be one – how about you?

26: Favorite things

Our school’s students have been attending music class, which is right down the hall from my classroom. Music class, like band and Physical Education classes, is not designed to be a silent class, so I can hear what the students are practicing from my room. Lately, they have been singing one selection from the musical “The Sound of Music.” This particular song I have heard several times a day for about a week now. It got me thinking about my favorite things, since the lyrics of the song list the composer’s favorite things. What are my favorite things?

I like dragonflies. Dragonflies are mosquito hawks – they are voracious mosquito predators. For that reason alone, I would like them, but they also are beautiful, delicate, elegant, colorful and acrobatic.

I also like praying mantis insects. The female praying mantis generally eats her mate after they do their business, which I think is a very tidy way to finish off your mate, without the hassle and expense of divorce. Besides, their praying pose gives them at least the appearance of piety, which is endearing in a creature that “offs” her husband as soon as he has finished his usefulness. And, they have lovely wings which most people don’t see, since they tuck away out of sight when the mantis is praying/preying for insects (or husbands).

I like books. Books are endless sources of entertainment, learning, and fillers of spare time. The variety is literally endless, and there is always a number of them that are on my “must read” list, of all sorts and kinds, from all sorts and kinds of authors.

I like chocolate. Actually, love might be a better word choice. Scientists have finally found that chocolate produces endorphins, which are those “feel good” chemicals in the brain that explain why for centuries men have arrived at the doorstep of their lady friends hopefully bearing gifts of the sinfully decadent, luscious treat. They know it puts the ladies into a very good mood, from which the male is hoping to benefit. Good thing she is not usually praying when he arrives.

I like fabrics. I like them in rugs, in sweaters, in clothing, in draperies, in fabric still on the bolt, just waiting for me to create something with it. Silk, mohair, wool, cotton, chiffon, crepe, blends, denim, rayon challis, satin, corduroy, there are almost as many different kinds of fabric as there are different kinds of books! What an orgy of delight!

Speaking of orgy – I like my husband, previous comments about the male species notwithstanding. I found one of those true rarities: a masculine man who has few gender issues. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, shops, communicates, and generally is a human person. Unlike most other specimens of his species.

I like seeing the results of other people’s creativity. Paintings, sculpture, jewelry, fabric, stained glass, creamics, things in museums, things offered for sale. Endlessly fascinating what ideas people come up with!

I like traveling to new places to see new things, new people, new cultures, new food, new whatever there is to see! It is best when my husband is there to enjoy all the new things with me.

And I like the warm, sleepy smell of a napping kitty. Might explain why I have four of them. Actually, now that I think about it, my warm, sleepy husband smells really good, too! And baking bread smells divine, and so does coffee percolating in the coffemaker, and bacon sizzling in the pan, especially if there are sweet buttermilk pancakes and honey syrup to go along with the bacon.

AAAHHHHHHhhhhhh. Life is GOOD!