639: Purr

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Your throat is vibrating,

warm black furry weight in my lap. You prickle my tummy

with your pokey-sticky fingernails

when it gets good, that stroking. Big golden eyes, slow blink,

and a luxurious stretch, before abandonment

for now.

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425: In the Moment

stuff 003I WANT to be joyously in the moment

stretching luxuriously, exulting in the feel of life as it

caresses my skin, sliding rapturously,

tantalizingly down the length of my body

all the way down to my tingling toes.

What I feel, in this moment,

is the frustration of rumpled, matted fur

as events and circumstances grate

across what sensitive nerves there are left

that are willing to feel any sensation at all.

Relaxed is what I want

and that is not what I am getting.

Mantras and deep breathing,

meditations, prayer, quiet and solitude

result in quivering tangles of anxiousness,

spinning feverishly into chaos.

Peace

and absolution,

sybaritic and sensual,

calm.

I choose calm.

 

411: To Adopt, or Not to Adopt?

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I am a sucker for a mewling kitten. I know this from bitter experience. By the time I got a job in Panama, and we were packing up to move from Morocco, I needed to find homes for ELEVEN cats. I managed all but three by the time it was time to go, so at least I only had to book flights for three pets to Panama, and let’s not discuss how much that cost.

The trouble is, once I got to Panama, it took less than a year (only ONE kitten season), to acquire two more. The fact that two of my beloved fur children went to heaven during that time, so that the total number of fur babies remained constant at three, is neither here nor there. The question remains, should I adopt, knowing I will not be able to resist anyway, and also knowing that I will not be staying in this country for another 15 years or so, which is usually how long a cat lives, on average?

It is enough that they get several good years with me and then get another home, as good as I can provide for them? That is certainly better than life on the street would have treated them, because I take them to the vet, and neuter them, and care for them. Still, I know that changing families can be stressful for both people and pets, so am I being fair or unfair to them, loving them for a time, and sharing them with some other good family when I have to go?

 

382: Let It Be Resolved

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I have shared my life with cats for as long as I can remember.

Except for the years I was married. I gave away my cats because he did not like them. I should have known from that alone. Worst trade of my life (and that is saying something).

The last few years we were married, before he died, I got a cat anyway, because by then I just did not care anymore what he thought. And I have had them ever since.

My children do¬† not have the same memories of their dad that I have, because they were children and I was wife. They don’t remember being cat-less. By the time they were old enough to remember, I did not care anymore, so I was no longer cat-less.

But I remember.

NEVER AGAIN – for ANYbody.