543: Tomorrow

If you get tomorrow, you can try again.

You can eat healthy, you can exercise.

You can organize and file those papers.

You can wash the windows and baseboards.

You can write thank-you notes, and mail them.

You can put those photos into the albums you bought for them.

You can finish that project you started.

I can do those things.

If I get tomorrow.

542: Mother

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Mother

does not stop.

There isn’t a day off. No vacation. No holidays.

Even when you are wrong, it does not stop.

No respite. No time outs for you.

You pick up the pieces of your shattered confidence, and you make dinner.

You say you are sorry, you cry about it in your pillow, and you go on.

At the end of strength and endurance, you go on.

Your choices have already been made.

You go on.

Even when you are wrong.

Especially when you are wrong.

 

And you will be wrong.

That you will get, even if you don’t get a break.

Go on.

You can’t stay here.

They are waiting.

541: Married

Marriage

It feels very new.

Shiny. Unblemished. Stain-free. Clean.

Like a new pair of running shoes – a little stiff and awkward still.

Bright with the promise of new, uncharted miles to be run.

Possibilities. Unlimited horizons. Opportunities.

No hint yet of fatigue, or of sweat. Tears. Pain.

I know those things are there, too, waiting to be discovered. Experienced.

Shared.

That is what marriage is, what marriage means.

Good, bad, easy and hard, exciting, sad.

I am here for you.

Welcome home.

540: How do you KNOW?

When there is a decision to be made, how do you know which of the available options to choose? HOW do you know? HOW are you sure? HOW do you know which option among the possible options is the best one to choose? HOW do you know that you are not making a mistake?

The fact is, you don’t know.

You can make the best possible choice among the available options, and still have things absolutely blow up in your face. You can make a very poor choice, and God can still arrange things to turn out right in the end, anyway. You might be the committed one, honest, and sincere in thought, word, and deed. If the other person (people) are not of the same commitment, something that is entirely beyond your control, BTW, things stand a very good chance of not working out positively.

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The cruel fact is, you don’t know. Life was never promised to be fair, equitable, acknowledging of your efforts, or affirming. Happiness is not promised. Fulfillment as an individual is not promised, either.

So – do you give up? Many do.

Giving up looks attractive, especially after yet another major defeat. Giving up guarantees one thing – you won’t win. You have to be in the game to win. You can’t win if you sit it out. Plus, realize that not everyone who is in the game wins.

If fulfillment is your goal, you must be stubborn as a mule and not give up. Even when you are slapped down once again, you cannot, ever, never give up. Be the ethical and moral person that you know yourself to be and keep going. Rest when you must. Recharge your spent batteries. But don’t quit.

How do you know you’ve won? Making peace with all that went before is one clear indicator. Being at peace with yourself is another.

 

Oh, snap

Oh, no you didn’t.

Oh, yes you did.

You tore me a new one with your public lecture on love and tolerance, understanding and acceptance.

Let me ask you something…..

was I a safer target because I am not the one paying your monthly bills for you, so you felt entitled?

At least you remembered the first rule of leeches – don’t bite the hand that feeds you

(even though that hand paying your bills for you holds the same views you blasted me for).

Let me ask you something else, Miss Jayna, second iteration……

How’s your grandfather Ken? How’s the decades-old friend Tonya?

Or any of the other half-dozen or so people that I personally know you have cut cold out of your life, not to mention the ones I don’t know about?

How’s that crown of love and tolerance, understanding and acceptance sitting on your self-righteous little head?

You have a lot to learn, Miss Judgmental.

And I, for one, am giving you the room to learn it.

I apologize that I asked anything of you, and profoundly regret doing so.

It will not happen again.